News Journal Drinking Game

PolitaKid posted this on Sunday, but I just saw it today:

In response to the incredibly shallow Wilmington News Journal article about a Desperate Housewives drinking game, I thought up a drinking game to play while reading the WNJ. Because I'm a little too young for alcohol, and y'all shouldn't be drinking that much of it either, I suggested a distinctively Delaware drink to use for each one.

1) If the WNJ disguises an opinion piece as a front page story, down a Wawa Iced Tea. If they try to get away with it by labeling it "Analysis", upgrade to a Lemonade Iced Tea.

2) If more than 2/3 of the letters-to-the-editor are liberal, treat yourself to a black-and-white shake at Charcoal Pit.

3) If the WNJ criticizes DSU for drifting away from their historically black roots (i.e. letting in too many whites), down a glass of Fresh Squeezed Lemonade form Auntie Anne's.

4) If the WNJ criticizes UD for not letting in enough minorities, sip a mocha latte in front of the fireplace at Panera Bread.

5) Throw back a Big Gulp at Mohammed's 7/11 the next time Ryan Cormier mentions a drunk person.

6) If the WNJ wastes space by publishing a shallow article promoting something sleazy, drink a Flavor of the Month shake from Jake's Hamburgers.

7) Have a Blizzard from Dairy Queen whenever the News Journal invents a controversy.(Does prison health care or Katrina victims living near a sex offender ring a bell?)

8) Guzzle some Trader Joe's Wild Blueberry Juice the next time Ron Williams attacks the firefighters.

9) If the WNJ tries to stir up racial tensions, have some Milburns' Apple Cider. If it comes during Black History Month throw in an apple cider doughnut.

10) Finally, any time the WNJ shows a liberal bias, drink some Delaware tap water (and watch your health plummet quickly.)